I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown. -- Robert De Niro as Jack Byrnes in "Meet The Parents"

Well, spank me. I have been a bad, bad blogger. Has it really been since Thursday since I updated you all? Apologies all around. I was going to let this wait until tomorrow, but I was upstairs tossing and turning ... maybe getting this posted will let me sleep? OK, maybe getting this posted and taking some sort of pill that ends in the letters "PM" ... anyhow ... about that long holiday weekend.

After dining on the sumptuous Martini family turkey (as photographed in Thursday's post), there were naps taken, football games watched, more turkey and sweet potato pie eaten, and grandmothers returned to their respective nursing homes.

Black Friday was not spent in the usual manner. And by "usual manner", I mean "beating up bored housewives at the early bird sales because I'm a bitch on a mission". Operating capital did not allow for the usual trip to Target upon their harried opening (side note: is it getting earlier every year, or is it just me?). Instead, I waited until Princess was vertical for the day, and then made the trip to a Target near mom and dad's house (that is historically not a very busy one). Have you ever attempted to shop on the biggest shopping day of the year with a two-year-old? Christ on a cracker, that was interesting. Actually, Princess was pretty damned good, considering. I bought her the special from the snack bar (small soda and a small popcorn) for $1 ... best dollar I've ever spent. That occupied her to where I could actually get some shopping done. I bopped around a while and tried to think about what to get for D (I have two three things already, but I am really at a loss for some other stuff). I picked up a cute shirt for his daughter and a fancy hair thingy that Princess grabbed and said "Oh MOMMY! It's so cuuuuute! Dis is ... dis is for Jasmine.", and wrapped that up for her for Hannukkah (she's half Jewish, and D tries to celebrate the Jewish holidays in a small capacity to keep that as part of her life until she's able to make that whole "God" decision on her own). I also got her a My Little Pony with its own tiara for Christmas, and will stack it with her other stuff that I already have purchased for her. I'm DONE with Jasmine! WHOO HOO! How cool is that? I also got myself some flannel jammies. See, during the little jaunt to D's grandparents' house in NYC over Christmas, I don't think that sleeping in the buff will go over all that well. I also hit the totally pimp sale at Bath And Body Works and scooped up some wares for Princess' sitters (I always buy them something for Christmas).

After I got back to the parents' house, D called and he was bummed out. His ex actually, wonder of all wonders, exercised her visitation option. Piss poor time for her to decide to be a mom, but I digress ... he was pretty bummed out. So after a quick consultation with my mom, I called him back and told him to get his happy ass up to mom and dad's and we'd go grab some dinner and stuff. Almost three hours later ... D met the parents.

We hit up Swenson's for a late dinner, then came back to hang out with the 'rents. Went to bed at about 11 or so ... went to sleep about 1 AM, in true H and D style. How shameful, we got busy in my parents' house. Damn, being quiet is hard work!

Saturday morning, we got up, and moseyed into the kitchen. I made some of my trademark pancakes, and we ate ourselves silly. D went all "Rip Van Winkle" on me, and took a four hour nap. Hey man, when you are a single parent, you take full advantage of any and all "down time" you can get ... I caught a nice long hot shower and a nap m'self.

Saturday night after all of us got a well-deserved nap, we scooped up Princess and zipped over to my sister's house. She lives really close to Lake Anna Park, and they lit up the Christmas lights. Some of my sister's friends came over and hung out with us too (I tried not to obviously ogle her very pretty engagement ring, for fear of allowing myself to ask the inevitable "when's the big day" question ... the owner of said ring is due with their son any day now), then we went and walked around the lake when the lights came on. I took a few photos with the new camera phone, here's one of Princess looking really closely at some of the lights ...



We got back to mom and dad's house about 10:30, noted that my beloved Irish closed out the regular season with a loss to USC, bitched appropriately about how it will end up being USC vs. Oklaslowma in the Orange Bowl, put Princess down to bed, and then went to bed ourselves. I was super-tired and cranky, and was just ready to pass the hell out. But yet again ... no sleep till nearly 1 AM. Why, you ask? Because, yet again, we got busy in my parents' house. Could it be that Martini has finally met her match? Hmmmm ...

Sunday morning, eggs and bacon all around. My dad left for hunting camp at about 11, and then D and I did our civic duty ... we went out to the nursing home to see my grandmother. (Reference for those of you that don't understand why I am grumbling about this ... she spouts needlessly insensitive things sometimes, particularly when it comes to my personal life. For a small taste, read this post.) D was a total champ about it, and all was well. I maintain that he was only able to tolerate her because I had him all loaded up on Robek's before we went there. After Grandma, we went to Michael's to buy a new scrapbook. I needed a new one for Princess, as I recently noted that my pages with The Others and our debaucherous trip to Atlantic City didn't mesh well with all of the sweet Princess photos. A page titled "Yay For Vodka!" just doesn't play out well with "Baby's First Steps", you know?

Anyhow, as if there were any question whatsoever at this point: Ladies and gentlemen ... D is a total, total keeper. In one weekend, he's managed to meet my mother, my father, my sister, her husband, and my grandmother. And ALL gave him the thumbs-up. Next up: THE OTHERS. That'll be sink-or-swim time there, buddy.

Anyhow, time for bed. I'm exhausted. The drive home wasn't bad at all, just long. People tend to lose all sense of sanity and manners when a holiday weekend is involved. I can't wait to just sprawl out in my bed and pass the hell out. OK, that's a lie. I'd like for D to be in it with me, as I realize that I sleep better when he's there.

Princess is upstairs, fighting sleep like no other, and I just want her to give up the ship. She's had a long weekend of partying and eating a ton of junk, and I think it's officially caught up with me. I mean her. Dammit.

Till tomorrow ... love to all.