Saturday Linky Goodness ... Buckeyes Style.

Although I've been a lifelong resident of Ohio, I've managed to circumvent the mass hysteria and obsession that is the Ohio State Buckeyes. Sure, I root for the hometown team, but I'm not a freak about it. But I have, indeed, inherited the general disdain for the jackoffs that play for the University of Michigan.

In Martini's football hierarchy, there are two teams at the top of the pyramid ... the Irish, and whoever is playing Michigan. And today ... that's the hometown team, the Buckeyes of The Ohio State University.

So, keeping with the "GO BUCKEYES" spirit, may I present a few funny jokes ... courtesy of the nice folks at Muck Fichigan and Rival Fanatics. Enjoy.

Q: What do you call a Michigan cheerleader with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you say to a Michigan player in a 3 piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise?

Newsflash - The University of Michigan library burned to the ground. All three books were destroyed. The football team is very upset because they had not yet colored in two of them.

Q: How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator?
A: Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.

This one's for Pete ...
Q: Why hasn't Ohio fallen into Kentucky?
A: Because Michigan SUCKS.

Q: How many Michigan freshman does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.

A Michigan football player was nearly killed in a horrible horseback riding accident. He was thrown off the horse and almost got trampled. Thank God the K-Mart manager came out and unplugged it.

Q: Why did the Michigan Wolverine stop having phone sex?
A: Because the little holes hurt too much.

Q: What is the only sign of intelligent life in Michigan?
A: The freeway sign that says "Columbus, 192 miles".

And finally ... proof that the Wolverines make the baby Jesus cry ...

After Bo Schembechler dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Bo a little two-bedroom house with a faded Michigan Wolverines banner hanging from the front porch.

"This is your house, coach. Most people don't get their own houses up here," God says.Bo looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill.

It is a huge three-story brick mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all of the windows. OSU Buckeyes flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge "Go Bucks" banner hangs between the marble columns while the OSU fightsong blares from hidden speakers.

"Thank you for the house, God. But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner, and Woody Hayes gets a mansion with new Ohio State Buckeyes banners and flags flying all over the place."

"Why is that?"

God looks at him seriously for a moment.

"That's not Woody's house," God says. "That's mine."