Who's Who, and What's What.

I found myself explaining some of my lingo to LawnBoy (I won't reveal the reasoning for this moniker, but it totally made me smile when he said it) this afternoon. I thought, "well, it's been a while and the cast of characters has changed a bit ... time for some introductions." Let me know if I've missed anyone.

Martini: Me. Also known as "-h.", how I sign my correspondence to friends and lovers.

Princess: My 2-year-old daughter. The CUTEST kid ever. And I do mean ... EVER.

The Others: My supa-dupa-tight clan of girlies. Holla. This group includes, but is not limited to:

• Mombi: Met during Rush a few years ago, but she went a different house. We have the same sarcastic sense of humor, and we are partners in crime when it comes to hacking unsuspecting rabble-rousers on internet message boards. We've been known to fuck some people up for posting stupid crap on Voy.
  
• Z: Mombi's twin. She and Mombi went to the same high school, and have been friends ever since.
  
• A: Mombi met A in a Women's Studies class in college. They found out that they both are OCD about Miss America.
  
• MAV aka Miss Sooo K.Y.: Met through Miss America's "Community Hall". We all bonded in the best way possible ... over a pageant.
  
• Miata: Named for her beloved convertible. A closet wild-woman that we will follow to Miss America when she wins Miss Ohio this year. She's the last remaining competing member of our circle.
  
• DolliMama, Ree, and a few others that have been mentioned by initials: These sistas make a regular appearance here. They generally aren't in the midst of our belligerence and debauchery, but instead are in supporting roles. This means: they are at the ready to bail us out.
  
  

The Usual Suspects: Those that occupy my otherwise boring day at work. I guess a suitable definition would be "those that are friends that aren't The Others". And that I'm not sleeping with. This group includes:

• Girlfriend: One of my bestest girlies that works here at TheFirm, but in another department.
  
• Gal-Pal: A long-time friend that I met through The Knot on AOL, back in the day yo. We celebrated our weddings together ... as well as the subsequent divorces. She was there and held my hand when I got inked.
  
• LawnBoy: Also known as "The Cutest Texas Hold-Em Player In The Whole Wide World". Another co-worker here at TheFirm. Don't go getting any ideas, y'all ... he's married.
  
• Beej: She who coined the phrase "schtuppin". Also met on The Knot on AOL, and celebrated our weddings and subsequent divorces. (hmm. Guess this means that if you're planning a wedding, don't use The Knot ...)
  
• DramaQueen: She who sends me Kates in the mail, as well as Mickey-Mouse type hats (with boobies instead of ears). Another Knottie, but she's still married to her hottie military guy.
  
  

And of course ... the men in my life.

R: My ex-husband, and Princess' dad. Great as a friend, shitty as a husband.
B: My college ... well, he's my ten-year-long ... whatever. Sometimes boyfriend, sometimes booty-call, all the time hottie. One of only two men I have ever honestly loved.
T: A guy I dated for a short while that was married. I honestly was dumb enough to believe him when he told me that they were seperated and had already filed. I failed to perform the usual Googling / other background research on him, and could have saved myself the hassle of having to find out that he was still married and not leaving. Lesson learned.
Mark: Nice guy that has recently made an "encore" appearance. Not sure if this will pan out, or if it'll be a "one and done" deal on Wednesday. I'll bet on the latter, as he is the "smothering" type. Some women really dig that, but not me.
J: Total total total hottie, but an inconsiderate jackass. I like a cocky guy, but he was too full of himself for his own good. Decided that the booty-call wasn't worth the crap he dealt me, no matter how hot he is, or how great in bed he is.
TheBoy: He's been around for a few months. Started out SUPER HOT and very promising, but has since cooled significantly due to our schedules and what-not. Not sure where, if anywhere, this one is going. As told to Murphle, "I like a challenge. But I don't like impossible."
G: Wow. What to say, what to say. It's still in the "centrifuge of infatuation" stage, but so far so good. I've tried all of my usual tricks to weed out potentials, and thus far they all have failed. Impressive.