My Life Is A Movie.
Specifically, "Miss Congeniality".

Victor Melling: The interview is the most important part of the pageant. It counts for 30 percent of your total score.
Gracie Hart: What's the other 70 percent, cleavage?

This one is two-fold.

First, Miss America starts preliminaries tonight. I have a solid reputation to uphold by picking the top ten ... last year I got 3/10 (which is not shabby considering I knew little about most of the contestants), but at this year's Miss Ohio contest, I had 9/10 and even more impressive ... 4 out of the top 5. I'll be watching with great interest. Ree is already on her way to AC to support Amanda, but The Others and I don't depart until Friday AM ... as in 6:00 AM. That's a lot of lattes. 'Tis OK ... thus far, we have spoken for mojitos, cosmopolitans (wonder who volunteered those), two bottles of wine, and rum and diets. Party on, girlies.

Second, I have on The Bra again today, with the only high-neckline shirt I own (thanks to TheBoy, may I say it was well worth the effort of finding a high neck shirt, BTW ... and ironically, it's a Gap sweater, but it's not pink). I've noticed that several people, well just several men, have seen fit to talk to my boobs today. Hey, PEOPLE. My face? UP HERE. Thanks. As Gracie would say ... "I'm suddenly very aware and proud of my breasts."

Gracie Hart: I would so like to hurt you right now.
Victor Melling: As long as you smile.

I've been absorbed in meetings and playing e-mail tag all day long. When will people grasp the concept that a screw-up on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine? I've *never* been one to say "that's not my job", but I'm just about there with a few of these people. I like being the "go to" person for those that have legitimate questions, but Jesus H Vanessa Williams Christ On A Cracker ... USE YOUR COMPANY INTRANET, PEOPLE. We spent millions on it, and 99% of your questions can be answered with a simple search! Dumbasses, the whole lot of them.

Victor Melling: In place of relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun!
Gracie Hart: Oh, *I* have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of *your* mouth is dripping with disdain?

The usual crap from family (mom and sister ... my dad doesn't really care what I do) applies with this one. Self explanatory. Although, I have no gun in my house or on my person. Just a fair amount of sarcasm, stubbornness, and independence. And the reaffirmation of my position that I don't tell my family who I date.

Eric Matthews: Is this you not arguing? 'Cause you suck at it.

After regaling J with a profanity-laced and sarcastic speech about honesty and fidelity, he still exists (but only in email form for right now). I don't understand ... does he just like to be abused by me? I mean, really now. Everything in me just wants to pull a Mark on him (the guy I told to fuck off, and lose my number, just because he couldn't grasp the concept that he wasn't to call me between 8 and 9 at night). So why haven't I yet? Girlfriend mused that he's my "back up plan" in case things with TheBoy don't work out. I told her that was a rather shitty thing to say. But really ... I hate it when she's right. Even *partially* right. Although I always have a "Plan B", I don't trust J as far as I can pick his muscular and well-toned ass up and throw it, but she doesn't know the reasoning and the depth of it (just that I'd ostracized him to email lately).

And to top it off? The cocky son of a bitch has the nerve to tell me "You can't stay mad at me forever. I know you." Fuck. I hate it when he's right too.

Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous... You want to kiss me... You want to hug me... You want to love me... You want to smooch me... You want to hug me.

No reason for this one, other than I totally plan on using this line someday.