Insert Witty Title Here.

Really, I have no witty today, actually I'm kind of a downer I think. I'm pretty tired, because I slept really fitfully last night. I have a lot of stuff going on with the family as well as other things in my life. I need to just get it out, clear my head, and pull it together. I have to be "the strong one" for the rest of the day, then get in my car and drive home to do it again all week long. Thankfully, my weekend next weekend is WIDE open, and I can use it as I please to "regroup".

Forgive me if this is all random and shit, OK?

Do you know how truly disconcerting it is to sit with your mother and plan her funeral, without tears? And I don't mean the passing conversation about "what I want when I die" kind of thing ... I mean REALLY talking about it. Verbally agreeing to her final wishes. Your heart aching when she tells you that she does NOT want a Mass Of Christian Burial. Signing papers to be the executor of the family estate and trust. Recertifying life insurance paperwork. Fuck, I countersigned an irrevocable DNR for my mom yesterday ... promising that I won't go to court and have them put her on life support despite the DNR she signed. I mean, I have a living will, organ donation document, and a DNR, but I'm not planning on up and DYING anytime soon. Mine's a "just in case", but with mom's it's a question of "when it happens in the not-so-distant future".

My dad is holding up OK for now, he's concentrating on making badges for his hunting club. I drug him to Target with me yesterday, because I dangled Swenson's in front of his face. I sarcastically told him that if he was a good boy today, I'd take him to Robek's. He was amused. He has his shoes on. Wonder what this means.

My sister is fairly oblivious to all of this. As far as she knows, mom is having a "flare up" and landed herself in the hospital for a "tune up" kind of thing and a round of steroids. My sister is VERY emotional, so it's best not to upset her until we have concrete information.

They're still running tests. They came in this morning and pulled hair and took toenail clippings from mom. What the hell is that shit all about? I mean, isn't the ten tubes of blood or the MRI or the chest cavity scoping thingy going to tell them anything?

I'm moody and pissed off at the world. I jumped TheBoy's shit for something that maybe I shouldn't have. I've since apologized, and promised to completely unload on him, without censorship, from here on in. From those of you that know me best ... he might be sorry, eh? ha ha

I'll check in later today if I know anything else.