Adventures In Office Attire
And Other TheFirm Rantings And Ravings.

Did I miss the memo? I must have missed the "please, wear what you want, we don't mind" press release.

Apparently, I'm an idiot. I come to work completely dressed and ready to go to a meeting with someone on a moment's notice. Granted, I take the small liberty of wearing open-toed shoes from Easter till about October 1st, but there are far bigger issues at hand. Here is a list of the stupid things that I've seen around TheFirm this morning. Now, I'm all for valuing diversity, and respecting individuality, and stuff. But some of this is a little ... much.

Throwback jerseys of varying styles and teams. Yeah, your rockin' Bird jersey would be a conversation piece at Fitzgerald's, but NOT HERE.

Satin "warm up" suits. What, just because it's made of satin makes it appropriate for work (and NOT tacky)? What makes it even worse is the pair of rhinestone acrylic shoes you wore it with (think: pageant shoes).

Capri pants. Can you people even read? Are you just functionally retarded when it suits you? In the dress code that we all sign when we are hired, it specifically states NO CAPRI PANTS. Furthermore, why would you even think this is appropriate office attire?

Private message to that one woman in Core Servicing: Just because they make it in your size doesn't mean that you should actually wear it.

Oh, yeah. Apparently, in the Customer Care world ... camel-toe never goes out of style.

T-Shirt + Cords + Doc Martins? Hippie, this is a place of business ... not a Dave Mathews concert. Take a bath and wash your hair, while you're at it.

Flip-Flops. We're not talking leather slides or mules here, oh no. We're talking about shower shoes. Buy 'em at the dollar store, thingy-between-the-toes, plastic and molded rubber FLIP-FLOPS.

I'm just REALLY pissed off today at TheFirm. They announced yesterday morning that the tuition reimbursement program is "on hold" until the first of the year. Without the 100% tuition and fee reimbursement that they offer, I can't afford to go back to school to get another degree. Up until today, I've been one of the biggest cheerleaders of this acquisition / merger / whatever. But there's only so much I can shrug off with the whole "at least I still have a job" phrase, you know? They are doing this in the name of "expense reduction", because we need to be more profitable. But here I sit, pen poised to sign off on one of my three projects I've managed that will save TheFirm more than $3 million ANNUALLY, and they are fucking their employees over like this? Whatever, jackoffs.

Oh, and then there's this: They are also saying that our insurance will change, and the rumor is that premiums will either increase 50% or double. Now, a good part of these rumors usually are inflations and exaggerations. But really, the truth usually lies in the middle of the road. And I don't buy for one second that a company as big as TheFirm can't use their Jedi Mind Trick on Aetna to keep our premiums the same. I'll be pissed if my one prescription that I use on a regular basis is no longer covered. I will go all super-feminist beatdown on their shit for covering Viagra if they stop covering my birth control pills.

Apparently, I got up on the wrong side of the broomstick this morning. I think I'll just stay here, in my cubic-hell, and tune out by listening to lots of bad late-90's music all day long. Wonder what Burdie has posted today ... hmm. Well, I will of course chat up The Others and TheBoy. They are all good for a laugh. I'm sure I'll be back later, and in a far better mood (when my coffee kicks in).

EPILOGUE: I e-mailed this post to Blogger, and the ass-hats haven't seen fit to post it yet. So I just had to schlep my lazy self to the website and do it like that. Fuckers. That's OK ... just got word that I'm going to shop for ridiculously expensive wedding gowns with Princess Mombi on Saturday AM. YAY for Saks Fifth Avenue!