The apocalypse is completely upon us.

The world is officially out of balance. I am not in power in a relationship.

This is a really odd predicament that I find myself in. In all prior relationships (save for R, of course), I have always been in the position of power in a relationship. To quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, "I decide who, I decide when, I decide ... who..." But in all reality, the power-holder with J and I is ... J. Hold your startled gasps, kiddies. Because 'tis true ... your fair Martini finds herself a bit submissive to His Royal Hotness.

Surrendering power in any relationship, be it personal or professional, has always given me a problem. I've always been a leader and not a follower, so it's hard for me to relinquish control and just "let things happen". I am a true Aries woman, I like to MAKE things happen. And J, being the total Libra that he is, is very laid back and non-committal about things. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not looking to "settle down" again this quickly, but with J it seems to be one of those "I'll call you later tonight" and later either ends up being at like, 10 PM or not at all. This behavior, while usually typical of the beginning of a relationship, is not acceptable to me whatsoever.

I get very annoyed when I leave my meager amount of free time open for someone, and then they abuse the privilege. VERY ANNOYED. To me, it's a respect thing. I will not deal with someone that disrespects me like that. Regardless of how absolutely smokin' hot they are. Regardless of how great they are in bed. OK. Maybe I can overlook a little bit of flighty-ness if they're great in bed. And maybe I can tolerate it if they are really really hot.

Um, just disregard the entire prior rant, please. I'm just pissed off at my computer, pissed off at work, and pissed off in general. I think I need laid.