'cause tomorrow's another day
and i'm thirsty anyway
so, bring on the rain

Ever have one of those days? No, not "THOSE" days in the bad sense, but one of those days where you are in a bad mood for no good reason? Warning, this is a hormonal estrogen-powered rant, replete with language that will make a sailor blush.

I had my interim performance review at work today. As suspected, it was absolutely stellar. The only complaint? That I work too hard. I'm not kidding. My boss told me that I didn't have to take on everything that I do. But honestly, it makes my day go faster. If I have too much "down time", my days just drag on and on. I much prefer having ten projects in the pipeline, as opposed to nothing at all.

I finally hit the proverbial brick wall today. Remember that on Tuesday I sent a note to R asking to meet on either Tuesday night or Thursday night? Well, I mentioned it when we spoke earlier today, and he muttered something to the effect of he didn't feel well. My last word on that subject? "Well, I'll be home later tonight. If you come over, great. And if you don't, that's OK ... I get it. Hope you feel better soon. -h." And his answer to that? "umm, get what???"

I didn't respond. Purposely. Because if he really needs to ask the question, he hasn't listened to a single damned word I've said over the last four months.

I'm not going to allow him to mind-fuck me anymore. I'm tired of pouring my soul out to someone that doesn't give a damn what happens to me. The old cliche is true, actions DO speak louder than words. His words continually say "let's have lunch one day this week" or "when are we going to see Jersey Girl", etc., ad infinitum. But when I actually push the issue, and suggest a time/place, then he backs down. His actions say - "I don't respect you, and I will allow you to be a doormat as long as you want to be." I finally realized today that I would NOT tolerate this behavior from any other man I'd date, why the hell should I allow him to act like this with me? I demand respect from other men, why wouldn't I hold R to that same high standard? Hope he enjoys his quiet days at work without email or phone calls from me. I'm DONE bending over backwards for him. There is only so much shit a woman can be expected to take before she just stands up and says "ENOUGH!"

I have been asked out by a few folks lately, and I've purposely put them off (to see what would happen on T/Th night with R). I have my resolution, as it's now nearly 9:30 and there is NO R. As if I should have expected any different. With him, I've learned to set my expectations low, and I won't be disappointed when he inevitably fails me.

I have a migraine that won't quit. Princess is refusing to go to sleep, she wants to stay up and play with the mee-yow. But it's bedtime. So, I'm relegated to alternately listening to The Beastie Boys and a little plaintive voice saying "Heya, mommmeee! No night night! NOOOOO!" I sense an Imitrex and an icebag in my future. Side note: when did the Beasties get old? They have receding hairlines. And Mike D is wearing a polo shirt. Christ on a stick, I'm old.