Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe You're The Only Man
Who Could Ever Help Me
Baby Won't You Help Me Understand

Tonight really was a tough night. I had to pick up some CD-R's from R this evening, and I spent a few hours with him and Princess (it's his weekend with her). It was really hard to realize what had happened, because at the time it was so easy to do. We spent a good hour just sitting in the hammock that we brought back from our trip to Mexico, with R and the dog and Princess, just like we were a family again. I managed to make it through the entire ordeal, which at the time felt really nice. I was actually fine until I got home and watched the encore presentation of The O.C. season finale. I watched the exchange between Marisa and Ryan at Julie Cooper's wedding, the one where Jem is singing "Maybe I'm Amazed" in the background (that's where tonight's title came from). Just listening to that song just brought a flood of thoughts and feelings. We really don't need to rehash what those are, now do we?

My current "theme song" (reference the 2/21/04 entry, titled "A Fish-ism"): "Move On" by Jet.

Well I been thinking 'bout the future
But I'm too young to pretend
It's such a waste to always look behind you
Should be lookin' straight ahead

Yeah, I'm gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah, it's hard
If you had've only seen

10.34: Flinders Street Station
I'm lookin' down the tracks
Uniformed man askin' am I paid up
Why would I wanna be that?

Yeah gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah it's hard
If you had have only seen
Take control
Don't be afraid of me

'Cause every once in a while
You think about if your gonna get yourself together
You should be happy just to be alive
And just because you just don't feel like comin' home
Don't mean that you'll never arrive

Yeah I'm gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah it's hard
If you had have only seen
Take control
Don't be afraid of me