Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend or maybe a houseplant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night? --Miranda on Sex And The City

Riddle me this: Why is it that I am alone? I mean, I'm relatively attractive (a former model/beauty queen/enter any American symbol of physical beauty here), I'm intelligent (have one college degree, and working on another), and I have a lot of love and compassion to give. It's really tough right now, because of everything I have swimming around in my head.

R is ill, and I'm really torn. He has been having chest pains, and finally went to the doctor's. Well, they thought, as he is only 29, that he was just having some anxiety attacks. They gave him some medication that should have taken the edge off and solved the chest pain issue. Well, that didn't help. He went this morning and had even more blood drawn to check cholesterol and other things. If it comes out like everyone thinks it will, it's likely that he will need a heart cath. I really had intended to walk away from him, and had done it for a full week. But I'm so concerned about him, that I finally told him that I had purposely left him alone for a week, and that I was concerned. He replied with a very sweet, and very "un-R" type of response that took me off guard. I'll continue to be supportive from a distance, but that'll be it. The ball is in his court, and I do hope that it works out. But I'm also not going to overlook the possiblility of someone nice to go out with ... even if it's a nice houseplant.

I'm really weary of all this. I don't know what to do anymore. I realized this weekend that I really don't want to move "home" to N.E. Ohio. I don't feel at "home" here in Columbus anymore. I just am floating along, not on any particular tack. Maybe I'll find my home port soon.

OH and PS ... Lunasea ... B isn't my home port. I remembered today why we split up in the first (and second, and third) place ... he's an undependable tool. So, put your spellwork to someone that is actually worth your time and pixie dust. LOL