Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination.

I'm really trying to remember this mantra lately. It is becoming horribly hard to hide my disappointment with the R situation anymore. We're supposed to go to the zoo on Sunday, but he called and said that he has some consulting work to do, and we will only be able to go to the zoo for a few hours on Sunday morning. I am really disappointed that I don't compare to an $80 an hour salary. I’m making light of the situation, but really I’m annoyed that I have been so very patient and understanding, and I feel like my time was encroached upon. I guess I just feel like it’s kinda the “make or break” time with whatever this thing is that you call between R and I. My hopeful heart just says to sit tight, and it will happen. But in the meantime, I have other decisions to make, and places to go, and people that really want to take the time for me to be there with them. It sounds shallow, because it makes it sound like others are "second best" ... but the truth is, they are.

I have spent the past two months really figuring out who I am, and what I want. I realized today, as I was sitting on the patio with Princess, that I like my life. I wouldn’t say that I totally “LOVE” it, but I can finally say that I am happy with it, but I really want someone to share it with. My major project wrapped up today at work, and I am so proud of my accomplishments ... but a 19-month-old really doesn't understand the finer points of the COSO method of control self-assessment. All she wanted was "Mommy! Morrrre gaaape! Peeeeze!"

Speaking of the cutest little girl in the whole wide world ... we spent two hours outside this afternoon with some sidewalk chalk. Princess doodled lots of stuff on the patio and sidewalk for me, and she came in the house absolutely coated in chalk. We had a nice bath, and some lotion (hey, a girl's gotta take care of her skin), and some cookies and milk for a snack. We talked about what sounds different things make ... her chicken noise sounds like she's saying "bawk-bawk-a-bawk-bawk!" And when you ask her what the cow says, she goes "moooooooo! heh heh ... moooooo!" Silly girl.

R has her this weekend. I'm counting down the hours until my Princess comes home to me on Monday night.