Is this any way to raise a child?

Today, R and I "bickered" via email for a few hours about the June/July/August schedule for visitation with Princess. I hate that I have to schedule time with my child. I hate that we have to fight about who gets her and when. I hate that this has become a business transaction, with my child's life being the currency. I feel like a failure as a mother, because her father and I couldn't make it work. She is the one that's punished, she's the one that's bounced back and forth, because of our petty differences. This poor child has three homes: Mommy's, Daddy's, and the sitter's. She doesn't know whether she's coming or going. She eats a lot of her meals from a bag, in the car, because Mommy works 45-50 hours a week. It's days like this that I am so angry at R. But really, I don't have the right to be solely angry with him, I failed too.

For that matter, what WAS the reason we divorced? Was it because of infidelity? Not on my part, and not that I know of on his part. Was it because one of us was incarcerated? No. Did either of us die? Umm, we're still here. We divorced because we were too God damned stubborn to admit we were wrong. And who is suffering? A beautiful, wonderful little girl. What the hell is wrong with us?

Anyhow. On to brighter news. Guess what? DRAMA QUEEN'S HUSBAND IS COMING HOME! If you haven't read her journal (linked in the sidebar), please go and do it now. Leave her a comment, rejoicing in the fact that her husband is being brought home to her, safe and sound. Share the wonder that her husband is coming home to the little girls he left behind as infants ... but will come home to as toddlers. Encourage her, because her life is about to change drastically yet again. Click here, and send her some love.