Love doesn’t get you anything but heartache, headache, and an occasional VD.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. And I'm a bitter bitch. I can't STAND the thought of it. I really have no reason, as I got two dozen roses from T today. He is so thoughtful and kind, save the whole "gone all week every week" thing.

I hate Hallmark holidays. Women that tolerate being treated like shit year-round somehow believe that all will be changed on that magical mid-February day. Here's a news flash: IT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE. He's a prick all the other 364 (365 this year) days, what the hell makes this cold grey winter's day so romantic?

I'm going to go and take a midterm exam in the morning, and write a paper in the evening. I just think my time is best spent pursuing academic things, rather than emotional gratification. Of course, my friend Mr. Kendall-Jackson Chardonnay will keep me company throughout the day.

Happy fake-love day, indeed.

A gem from the Tucker Max message board ... sounds like a good description of your fair Martini.

Middle-aged Career Woman Barbie - comes with cell-phone headset permanently attached, glass of red wine, vibrator, and self-deluded notion that work can take the place of human contact. The deluxe set includes sofa bed so she can sleep in the office, and much younger, prettier assistant that she can abuse out of jealousy.