Insignificant Others.

This phrase was coined by someone on one of my email loops. It lovingly refers to those that insist on making your life a living hell.

I think that I have done some soul searching, and realized that it's not really R that I miss. It's the R that USED TO BE. For instance, I catch myself thinking about what "was", instead of what really happened. Not unlike that period immediately following childbirth ... it is so miserably painful that you swear you are never even looking at a penis again, for fear you'll be pregnant by proxy. But then, as time rolls on, the memory of the pain fades, and you start wanting another one.

Then, the two year molars hit. And you remember why you bought condoms in the first place.

AWNSDI: My checking account balance is ... $9.87. Damn, I'm good. I have this disgusting fear that I will bounce checks. I get pissed off when I pay bank fees, because I know the money goes to pay the salaries of slackers like me.

And FYI ... four days till I commence drinking at sunup, and continue it long after sundown. Anyone want to help? I have lots of martini glasses ...