As Sheryl Crow says, "A Change Will Do You Good".
I am at a personal and professional crossroads. I'll start with professional, because that seems to be a more logical explanation for why I feel the way I do.
Right now, I have some deciding to do. Should I pursue my first love, Human Resources? Or should I continue to court the whore that took me away from it ... Risk Management? Both functions actually feed my incessant nosey-ness, and both have lucrative career paths within the company I have come to love. Both functions also have a significant amount of, shall we say, "lack of cooperation from others" ... also lovingly referred to as "the rat squad". I am working on finishing my second degree, so that I can move up much more quickly. But I'm really just still at a loss, I can't decide what I want to do if I grow up.
On the personal front, not much has changed. I am still very conflicted about my relationship with R. He was so down last night, and every bone in my body wanted to just take care of him. But I know better. I know I shouldn't. But you know what? If he would have just asked ... I would have.
T is coming home tonight. I have put some distance between us, because he has some personal drama he needs to sort out as well. Although, comparatively speaking ... he's in a MUCH more dramatic place than I. That should frighten him.
Oh, I almost forgot! I'll share a good laugh from a co-worker: He informed me that I am what's affectionately known as "a dra-magnet". Apparently this is a "metrosexual" term for a drama queen that just naturally attracts drama to her like a magnet. It seems like Scott sure knows your friend Martini!
Also, here's a little dissertation that I shared with R today. Thoughts? I think that it's obvious that my faults make me a tasty little dish, but unfortunately it doesn't make for a good employee or wife.
Professional and Personal development are two separate entities, but they strongly inter-relate. If your home life is happy, and you are happy with yourself, you will be far more productive and efficient at work.
Ever since I've started paying much more attention to my personal and professional development, I feel like I'm a better woman. In fact, I *AM* a better woman. I now have a much firmer grip on my life (personally and professionally), and I can honestly say it has made me a more productive and valuable employee, as well as a better mother and friend. If you know your strengths and weaknesses, you are better off. For instance, my biggest weakness is my lack of self-reliance. I take others' opinions too seriously, and wear my heart on my sleeve. This impacts my decision making ability, from all things boardroom, to "what's for dinner". I've learned to "toughen up" and accept constructive criticism, instead of becoming angry and sullen. This has a great impact on my daily life, whether it's personal, or professional. Another weakness of mine is a lack of self-esteem, but that is quickly returning. I realized that if I wanted to return to the Martini that everyone knows and loves, that I have to do it for myself, BY myself. No one can help me, I have to do it alone.
This is a great tool. --> http://www.franklincovey.com/missionbuilder/
It assists you in crafting your own personal mission statement. It comes out pretty cookie-cutter, but if you don't have a goal, you'll never reach it, right? It's a great place to start, and you can build your own from the framework they lay.
Here's mine ... it's obviously a work in progress, but you get the point.
My personal mission is to:
LEAD a life centered around the principles of leadership, honesty, patience, personal and professional growth, and lifelong potential.
REMEMBER what's important in life is family, happiness, respect for myself and others, financial security, and sense of accomplishment.
REVERE admirable characteristics in others, such as: being ambitious, caring, trustworthy, responsible, self-reliant, and fun. I will attempt to implement similar characteristics in my own life.
RECOGNIZE my strengths and develop my talents. I will continue to market myself as a person who is: adaptable, articulate, generous, hard-working, a leader, and open-minded.
HUMBLE myself by acknowledging that I can be disorganized, a procrastinator, and sarcastic. I am constantly striving to transform my weaknesses into strengths.